# Managing Up: How EMs Manage Their Own Manager

Source: https://www.techinterview.org/post/3233475073/managing-up-as-an-engineering-manager/
Updated: 2026-07-12 · techinterview.org

"Managing up" is one of the most under-taught skills in engineering management. Most EMs spend energy managing down (their team) and not enough investing in the relationship with their own manager. The result: misaligned expectations, surprise feedback, and missed opportunities for support.

## Why managing up matters

- Your manager controls your scope, headcount, and visibility

- Your manager can amplify your team's wins or let them go unnoticed

- Misalignment between you and your manager kills the team's effectiveness

- Your career trajectory depends significantly on your manager's investment in you

## The first 1:1 with a new manager

If you have a new manager (yours or theirs changes), set the foundation early:

- What does success look like for you and your team in the next 90 days?

- How do you prefer to be updated? (weekly written report, ad-hoc Slack, monthly review?)

- What are the things you absolutely want me to escalate?

- What are your management peers up to that we should be aware of?

## The weekly written update

The most powerful managing-up tool is a 1-page weekly summary:

- Headline: 1–2 sentences on biggest wins/concerns

- Status of priority items with confidence levels (red/yellow/green)

- Decisions needed from your manager

- Asks (resources, priorities, escalations)

Sent every Friday. Saves both of you in 1:1s. Allows asynchronous decision-making. Documents your work.

## The "no surprises" rule

Your manager should never learn about a major problem on your team from anyone but you. If something is going wrong:

- Tell them as soon as you know

- Frame it: "Here is what happened, here is what I am doing about it, here is what I need from you"

- Don't hide problems hoping they will resolve

Trust is built by handling bad news, not by hiding it.

## Asking for what you need

Most managers want to help but cannot guess. Surface needs explicitly:

- "I need cover from leadership on the X commitment"

- "My report Y is at risk; I need HR support"

- "We are tracking yellow on Q2 OKR Z; here is the recovery plan"

- "I need a headcount slot to add a senior engineer"

Specific asks beat generic complaints.

## Disagreement with your manager

You will disagree sometimes. Strong patterns:

- Disagree in 1:1, not in front of others

- Frame your concern with data and named alternatives

- Ask for the rationale; you may be missing context

- If the decision stands, commit and execute. Re-raise only with new info

## The skip-level relationship

You should know your manager's manager, at least enough to:

- Be recognized in the hallway

- Have your work be visible to them

- Have one or two substantive conversations per quarter

This is not subverting your manager. It is normal organizational health. Your manager should encourage skip-levels.

## When the relationship is not working

If you and your manager are misaligned consistently:

- Try direct conversation first: "I notice we disagree often on X; can we align?"

- Document specific examples and have a calibration discussion

- If still misaligned after deliberate effort, the situation may not be fixable; consider a transfer or external move

## Promotion conversations with your manager

Don't wait for your manager to bring up promotion. Ask explicitly:

- "Where am I tracking against the next level?"

- "What are the gaps?"

- "What support do you need from me to make a strong case?"

Documenting your contributions throughout the year makes your manager's job easier and your case stronger.

## Frequently Asked Questions

### What if my manager is bad?

Different problem. If they are unsupportive but functional, manage up effectively. If they are actively harmful (taking credit, ignoring, blocking), document and consider transfer.

### How candid can I be in the weekly update?

Very. Hiding problems is a worse strategy than over-sharing. The risk of "looking incompetent" is much smaller than the risk of being seen as a manager who hides things.

### What if my manager keeps changing direction?

Document each direction. Track time spent on shifting priorities. Surface the cost of churn explicitly. Sometimes this changes their behavior; sometimes it does not.